Saturday, December 19, 2015

my love

I ache for him and the sorrow he carries inside right now. Wish I could teleported myself back home and be there with him this very second.

My 優しい love...

Friday, November 27, 2015

Taylor's two truths and one lie

One day at her school, Taylor and her friends played two truths and one lie game. So they had to state three statements and the others guessed which one was the lie. She stated:

1) I can play hockey
2) I can play football
3) I have a sister

Ninis: "What did your friends guess?"
Taylor: "I have a sister"
Ninis: "But you have a sister"

this morning's skype session. I love you, too, TT :)

Monday, November 23, 2015

Beppu tour! #QB1

It's quarter break you guys! A week of day-off after a month and a half of Nihon-go lesson. My goal this quarter break is to fill up one page of my Onsen Spaport. Since I came to Japan, I've found my love of Onsen. It is a traditional Japanese hot spring, where people bath together. Naked. And before you get too excited (or scared), most of Onsen are segregated by gender. Although there are some exceptions to some Onsen that have mixed baths. I've begun my Onsen journey with Ofuro at AP House (my dorm). Ofuro is like a big tub of hot water and people bathe together. The difference between ofuro and onsen is that ofuro uses same water as the one in the shower while onsen uses natural hot spring water, which is more awesome.

Beppu, the city where I live in right now, is famous for its onsen and the second biggest source of hot spring in the world according to How can I not fall in love with onsen in this onsen town?

So my goal for university life is to be an onsen master (which is a thing here in Beppu). To become an onsen master, you have to buy an onsen passport (or Onsen Spaport, Japanese style) and get a stamp from 88 different onsen out of 2000 onsen in Beppu.

So that's why yesterday, I went to explore Beppu with the girls with the main goal of, the one and only, onsen.

We began the day early (or so we planned). We were supposed to be ready by 8 and caught the Kamenoi bus, BUT because we stayed up late until 3 in the morning and I have a hard time waking up when my sleep is less than 6 hours, we left at 10. (To be clear, only Nadya and I who woke up late. Thu and Yun are zombies, they had even COOKED and ready when they woke me up).

Our goal was to explore Beppu along Kamenoi route with our all-day 700円 bus ticket. Our first destination was Myoban, a very famous attraction for Korean tourists. Apparently this place is not that high on top of Beppu advertisements which I wonder why since this place in super pretty. There are onsen huts and huts where they produce sulphuric salts. It is basically a place full of huts. A very beautiful place nestled in mountainside.  We can enjoy eggs cooked with natural hot water and outdoor onsen overlook the nature. I didn't try the onsen though, but it looks so pretty. Maybe I'll go some time this week.

After Myoban, we took the bus to Umi Jigoku (literally translates as Sea Hell). It is one of the top list of Beppu tourist attractions. It's a series of very high temperature hot springs that they have different colors, range from blue, green to red. The entrance to each Hell is 400円 and you can also purchase tickets to enter all Hells for 2100円. We only strolled around the area and didn't purchase any ticket. We'd rather pay to go to onsen than to sightseeing hot springs (broke college student wants some luxury in the form of onsen haha).

Umi Jigoku is located in an old part of Beppu called Kannawa, another onsen district. We tried the free foot bath which is very relaxing after a long walk. By the time we were finished, Yun was throwing a tantrum because she hadn't been fed for too long (just kidding, not a tantrum. She just has a temper when she is hungry), so we opened our bento (lunchbox) in the area.

We took the bus again and that time, we didn't have any destination in mind (well, we wanted to go to the beach but we didn't know which bus that bound for it so we just took whatever bus that passed). We ended up strolling around Beppu station eating ice cream and (again) exploring the area. We found out there is a cinema in Beppu! A very small cinema that only has old movies, but hey, who knows what can we find there. I'm planning to find out soon.

After that we went to our main destination, ONSEN! Yay! We went to Onsen Hoyoland, the only onsen that has natural mud bath due to its high sulphuric concentration. It was super good, to say the least. The mud makes your skin feel so smooth and can get rid of acne. We were later talking about how obaasan (grandma) skins are soooo smooth probably because they go to onsen often and Nadya actually planning to go to Hoyoland once a month HAHA. I got a new stamp for my passport too!! Yay!! Two down, 86 to go :D

Since we had all-day bus pass and it was still 6 pm, we want to use the best of it and decided to have dinner at YouMe Town, the biggest mall in Beppu. I shared a huge okonomiyaki with Yun, whose appetite is like no other, so she ended up buying donuts afterward.

Aaaaaand when we got to the bus stop in front of YouMe Town, there isn't any direct Kamenoi bus to APU from there. So we walked to Tokiwa through a deserted street instead of the main one, and found out it was a red light district. Yup. Nadya and Yun was freaking out but hey, we were exploring right?

Long story short, we missed the last bus to APU and ended up in an unknown area back in Kannawa. Yun was freaking out because we were lost and I enjoyed every second of it (the lost part, not the freaking-out-Yun part). We discovered a free onsen!! OMG, I didn't know there is such a thing as a free onsen. Although we have to check it out how is the condition.

Finally we got to APU at about 10.30 pm. It was SO tiring but fun!! Got the chance to explore this city is always a pleasure :)

(extra story) Today's highlight: my sensei and his family came to the campus and I got the chance to meet his baby!! So kawaii!

Saturday, November 21, 2015

日本語 class!

I can say that my 日本語 Foundation is unarguably the best Japanese foundation class out there. It's not only about my classmates that make 14 hours per week of Japanese lesson bearable, but also we got the best sensei anyone could ask for! 

Like seriously, I don't think the whole class would be this fun for everybody if Ooike Sensei wasn't our teacher. He can make 4,5 hours of Japanese each day passes like a breeze (not exactly, but you get what I mean). The whole class are friends with each other, and that's the point of being classmates. We joke around and make the crazy kanji and grammar lesson turn into a way to tease around and have fun. 

Yesterday was Sensei's birthday and we threw a little surprise party for him. I love the little things we did that actually meant a lot, like planning what would we do, went to Beppu Wan together to get his cake, prepared the balloons and other details.

Lucky I got this class to begin my journey of learning Japanese language. It is hard, but at least with them, I can smile and laugh despite all the hardships :)

trip to Beppu Wan

Minh's snapchat. We all know he loves us.

best sensei ever

#tb Indonesian senior year part 1

Found all these pictures accidentally. Looking back at the bigger picture, I know I have a very fulfilling high school life, from the beginning through the end. Miss all the elements that colored my last year in high school. Precious fragments in my life.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Lesson #1

"The many lessons of lessness. The lessening from which growing could begin."

Salman Rushdie, The Enchantress of Florence

Sunday, November 1, 2015

19 years young

Sometimes it's hard to remember your goal when the road leading to it has a good view. It's so easy to stray off the main road and look around, pay a visit here and there. Especially when you have the ones that have become your comfort zone. Along the way, your perspectives change. Your goal is not the same anymore. Your outlook on things shifted as you grow up during the voyage. The love you had before is not the same love you have now. Your knowledge broaden and stretches, demanding you to question things that used to matter a lot before. I've learned that compare and contrast are only useful for essays. That I can learn a lot from negative thinking people, since they show me what kind of person I don't want myself to become. That there is a limit in trying to bond with someone and you have to realise that the chemistry is simply non-existent. That there are millions of people in this world and you have the ability to choose who you want to stay and spend the rest of the voyage with.

I chose to share my voyage with her simply because her aura of positiveness and joy gets me every time. You can't imagine the energy we gather when we are together. It's able to power one village and light hanabi on a spring night. 

I wish you an eternal happiness and harmony that shall stay inside you through everything. Your dreams are the dreams that fuel my dreams. I'm so proud of you and the process you've been through to become a person you are now. I hope 19 treats you well, and welcome to the last year of your teenage life! 


You know you are super lucky when your inspiration had set aside a special day to come all the way from her city to yours just to see you. 

And I have every right to brag about because Nia did just that last Friday! I know!

Nia is the daugher of my mom's BFF since middle school. So they have been friends for... What? 35 years? Anyway, we met for the first time five years ago at her house in Hang Tuah, Senayan. My mom wanted me and my sister to get to know Tante Wida and Nia. I had a hard time comprehending Nia at that first meeting so she wrote what she wanted to say on a piece of paper. I can't recall if she understood what I said, but from my memory, our conversation was done with mostly me talking and her writing. Albeit the barrier between us, since that day, she is officially my muse. My inspiration.

Since then we are connected through social medias. We hadn't got the chance to meet since that first meeting though. Oh, we made a lot of plans, alright. Even I promised one day to give myself the privilege to visit her at one of her advocate activities. Nope, there was always something going on and it was definitely my loss.

When I was in the USA, I saw pictures of her in London. Then I found out that she was there through her advocate organisation. Could you imagine how proud I was to see her and all the people she met there??? I remembered at one of her pictures, she was there at the stage in front of a forum, looking so professional. And I was simply awed by what she did.

Then we chatted some time last July and I told her I'm going to Japan for college and how I wish we could meet before I go. Then about a month later she came to my city and I only knew that because I saw pictures that she uploaded. Could you believe how bothered I was? We could've met if I was informed in advance!

Last week though, she messaged me saying that she was going to Depok. To see me. Just because it was my last week in Indonesia, she wanted to come so we could reconnect. The bottom line is to connect in real life, because there is a world difference between talking in chatting platform and in real life. Or so I thought.

We connected right away! There was no communication barrier, it was like somehow I've been talking with her in real life for a long time. She said it herself that not many people understood her at first meeting (it was considered our first meeting). What I think is, she speaks clearly despite her enunciation. I could get everything she said, except for hard words such as long English words.

She taught me Indonesian sign language which surprisingly is easy enough to use and implement in daily life. I love how passionate she is about her advocating activities! She made me interested in her world in just a span of minutes.

Did  I tell you that she has disability of hearing? And yep, her disability doesn't stop her to achieve her dreams and whatever she wants to be. She just graduated from her university this past month! So proud of you, Nia. I hope you'd come to Japan sooner so we could explore together!

our first meeting all those years ago

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Depart Soon #2

As the second week of September unravels, so soon comes the day I leave for uni. Bags are almost packed, places visited, documents ready, close friends met. While there was high voltage electricity sizzled within me on days leading up to my departure to America, it's quite the opposite now. I suppose it is because I've been there done that farewell-wise, or Japan is not that far from Indonesia psychologically speaking.

Too often I caught myself staring at frangipanis outside my window upstairs. How even in this drought when most plants are dry and brown, they are still blooming pinkish tight around each others. They look like bouquets viewed from above. Or how the look-alike banyan tree with its hanging branch is there in the corner of backyard, watching. Whilst I'm trying to internalized how the sight makes me feel, in hopes the memory would give me warmth once I'm away.

This place gives me serenity which I long for. Some guests might found it a little too... 'in harmony with the other world' for their tastes, which most probably because they are not used to the flowing energy this place has.  Sometimes I get a little scared, too. But they have never lived here and felt how Depok could somewhat be pretty when you could look from above, past the river and all the buildings. In the past, Salak mountain was visible from my window in the morning when the air clears. Few years ago an apartment built right in the middle of my mountain view. Albeit it sucks, still...

Depok has been my home since I was born. Went to all stages of k-12 here in its public schools.

I'm babbling now. What am I talking about?

It's almost 1 am and I'm wide awake. Hey, finally! I used to do this, but lately I haven't written much.


A week before my departure, readers. Or lack thereof. Like the song from pitch perfect says, you're gonna miss me when I'm gone.

By the way, this is the second part of Depart Soon series (my blog is my disguised wish-granting factory... Or at least a girl can dream). Hope to write another Depart Soon post, hopefully it'd be to another exciting country (amen).


Monday, August 31, 2015

(about high school) A Closure

If I could freeze time, it'd be high school years that I want to replay over and over again. For every smiles and hellos exchanged, every all-day-all-night activities, every dreams and problems shared... Every simple things that happened in high school.


When 10th Grade ended, I was miserable to part with my class, xevenovica. I was so sure 10th Grade would be the best time of high school, hence all videos on YouTube, blogposts, tweets that we all made to record everything during the year. We spent every moment together at class for months as much as possible, even when it was already dark outside and school was closing until security kicked us out to go home. We had the best time traveling for a week on the bus around Java island. We cried together when the academic year ended, although it was only the end of 10th Grade and none of us moved out to another school so technically we were still together at Smansa. It was sad, nonetheless.

For the first time, I was exposed to the real experience about being a responsible young-adult this year. Learned the meaning of commitment and endurance. About doing things I first like then despise, and eventually loathe, yet stay committed to it. Began my teenage dream journey, a dream that fuelled me every time I felt down. Being tied at hearts with xevenovica, a super cheesy term but we literally call it that way --we played games and prayed and did things to tie our hearts tighter--.

It turned out I was totally wrong. 10th Grade wasn't the best time of high school. Analogically, 10th Grade was Sayuti Melik and 11th Grade was Moch. Hatta. Second year at Smansa was the true definition of pull-your-hair-out, can't-sleep-until-late-at-night. The pressure was high, expectations and hopes were sky-rocketed. Despite everything, the most important things were people that surrounded me, new friends inside and outside Smansa, new experiences, new city to explore. I learned the essence of love without expectation this year. About puzzle of people, about giving without asking back, about managing my feeling. It was a stressful and exhausting year, yet I cherish it.

For the second time, I wrote a blogpost in the end of my second year in Smansa that of course 11th Grade was the best.

Then I went to the USA. It was, hands down, a very maturing experience. It was about stumble down then get up so many times I lost count. It was about new family, new home, new country. A new world. About travel, party and celebration of life on one hand, and tears, bruises and frustration on the other hand. It was about feeling grateful. There isn't a word to fully define exchange year.

Then, I stopped defining my year in high school.


I know I'd been granted additional year to be a high school student, an extra year I enjoyed to the very marrow of my bone.

You know that moment when you accidentally found a group of people that coincidentally fits you. It began when five of us, inside an empty class, talking about things that give meaning to our lives. Then four of them decided to volunteer at an organisation I volunteer at. Since then, they were the aloe vera to my burns, the highlight of my last year at high school. An eccentric combination, spread in three cities and two countries.


I don't know when a feeling of closure came. Maybe when I went to Smansa last June when school was out for break, and thought I'd been four years here yet it felt like four minutes ago was my first day of school.  Maybe when I finally hold my diploma. Maybe it was yesterday when I hugged a teary-eyed dear friend in Margonda Raya boulevard on 8 pm at night, saying see you a second before she boarded to Bandung to begin her first year at college. Because it could be our last meeting before I depart to Japan.

Or maybe...

Maybe the feeling of closure comes as I finish this writing. As I've shared my high school life here since the very beginning.

In the span of 2011-2015, I found new meanings of love, life, dedication, empathy, determination, and most importantly, I found home.

For it is in the core of my very heart when I feel harmony with myself.

And this is a closure, people. Ciao.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

a pixie underneath frangipanis

When a gust of June wind blows on a supposedly fine morning, she doesn't have much choice other than hold on tight to the firm branch. She knows all along this will come sooner or later. It has been so long since something shakes her surrounding. It has been a calm smooth year for her.

Mastering the garden is a piece of cake; expected it long before her arrival. Her lithe, slender figure and lively personality are the perfect combination to open the key. Key to a not-so-new world. She figured how to play the game with Chile and Cassa, well-informed on how to gain respect from the wild Lime gang, familiarised with how the landlord works around here. They are fond of her, praise her even.

All in all, she knows which button to push.

She lives in the shades most of them adores. Colorful frangipanis with fragrance that make people come to a halt. Some are mesmerised, some are jealous. Some doesn't care, though they pay attention still.

Little do they know what is there behind the shades. Underneath the petal where she lays on a nook with her companions, observing everything. Outer look can be deceiving, they know very well.

Time goes by, she knows it is up to something. Wind forewarns her. She relies on that particular helpful friend all this time and she trusts her.

When twilight falls, someone is coming. Hesitated knocks at first, as if not quite sure how to reach out to her. Although the branch shakes mildly, it is enough to make one or two flowers fall onto the grass. "They have been blooming for some time anyway," she whispers to herself.

The next day, the knocks come again. Surer this time, as though indicated that some things are figured out. Then the next day and the next and the next, it keeps coming regularly. Surer and stronger.

Wind forewarned her. She knew all along this was coming.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

19 Tahun

Karena cuma rasa syukur yang ada saat ini. Makasih Tuhan untuk masa remajanya yang ngga bakal bisa di tukar dengan apapun. I'm welcoming the last year of my teenage years. The end of adolescence and the beginning of adulthood :)

I'm a young adult!

Hari terfavorit seluruh dunia di tahun 2015 di mulai dengan terbangun di kamar hotel di Cikini. Karena hari itu bertepatan dengan Hari Terpenting Anak Yang Baru Lulus SMA alias SBMPTN dan Adek Raras kedapetan lokasi di Cikini, jadi sekeluarga (minus Ibu yang lagi dinas di Ambon) nginep disitu.

Doa ulang tahun pertama dateng dari Dimas ❤  Terus kata Adek, "Kok ngga sopan sih Dimas ngeduluin kita?" hahahahah.

Ngga cuma Adek yang dapet di Cikini, Fatur sama Ocha juga. Gils jodoh banget gak siiih. Gue kepikiran nyamper Fatur/Bimbim ke lokasi SBMPTN mereka, eeeeh salah satunya malah satu lokasi sama Adek 

Sukses akang-akang!!! Semoga FTTM ITB dan FEUI emang untuk kalian. Amiiin.

SAPPK amiin

Orang yang gue janjikan dua tahun lalu kalo namanya akan selalu terselip dalam doa-doa gue. Yang masih megang perminyakan jadi mimpinya. Semoga pada akhirnya FTTM bukan hanya sekedar mimpi lagi, Kang. Amiin.

Malamnya dinner sama keluarga sambil menikmati jalanan Margonda sehabis hujan sama Bapak, Adek dan Dek Angga 

To wrap up this post yang bisa jadi post ultah tersingkat selama lima tahun terakhir, screenshots doa-doa dari orang-orang terdekat. Makasih teman-teman, you guys are very much parts of my journey. Makasih untuk cerita-cerita selama ini. Sukber terus ya sampe bertahun-tahun ke depan 

Izmi yang lagi sibuk dikpus OSKM. Semoga jadi panitia OSKM bisa bawa perubahan lebih baik buat ITB dan yang terpenting buat diri sendiri, mi 

Danang lagi dikpus OSKM juga. Sukses Danaaang

dapet halo dari cinta pertama di SMA 

Adhita. Yang paling bisa berkata-kata. Azek wkwkw