Thursday, May 29, 2014


I love you, Mom. I'm sorry I've brought you worries, frustrations, disappointments, headaches, and everything. 

I love you and I hate it that I make you disappointed. 

I love you, Mom.

Jangan Pergi

Jangan pergi dengan utang
Atau amarah yang terpendam

Jangan pergi dengan rasa kecewa
Atau mereka yang menyimpan kekecewaan

Pergi dengan rasa tuntas akan tahun yang berarti dan hidup yang penuh makna
Pergi dengan harapan untuk melanjutkan perjalanan dan tetap meneruskan hubungan yang pernah terjalin

Pergi dengan senyum dan tangis akan pelajaran yang dipetik dan kenangan yang selamanya ada dalam hati 

Wednesday, May 7, 2014


We were grocery shopping at Target —me, mom and the kids—. I was looking at the movie DVDs while mom waited in line to pay. I distinctly knew mom was talking, but I didn't pay attention until mom called me, waiting for my answer.

'Sorry, what?'

Then I realized there were other people —looking at me. I knew the girl, she was in my journalism class; we never talked to each other but I knew her name, Marijke. I saw her a moment before in the aisle by the freezer; I acknowledged her but she didn't look at me. There was a woman with blonde hair who was wearing cream suit by her side. 

'They asked if you want a ride to school everyday' said mom.

'I saw you this morning running for the bus. You can go with Marijke to school so you don't have to go with the bus' the woman whom I assumed Marijke's mom, added.

I nodded and smiled slowly, trying to process.

'Yeah, sure. Where do you live?' 

'They live in front of us,' explained Mom. 

'You have to come to my house at 7.20 because I need to pick up my friend. She lives by Target,' said Marijke. 

Then they left, and I still baffled. 

'Where do they live?'

'The blue house right in front of us'

'I never, ever, see them before and I've been here for three months!'

The scene was replaying in my head that night. I stalked her Facebook when I got home, saw her homecoming picture. I remember seeing her dancing at homecoming, but that was the only thing I remember about her. We never talk before at class and we sat far from each other. The only reason I knew her name was because I heard her friend called her —that was it. 

I was nervous. What if we don't have anything to say? What if it's gonna be awkward? What if she doesn't like me?


It was six months ago. There are lots of stories about Marijke in that span of time. Now I know her expressions, what she would say when I said this or that and her opinion about her brother's girlfriend. I've cried in front of her, I told her about my country, my friends, my family —although I doubt she remembers anything 😑 She's a true drama queen, and she denies when I say that hahahhahaha.

Hi Marijke! 😉

The only reason why we have about the same height in this picture is that I put on three inches heels and she was barefeet. My prom dress was hers from last year before she gave it to me, and it was almost as tall as me.